Lilys Diary year 5
by Ginny Wealsy
Summary: Lilys Diary from 5th year!R&R! Look for Lilys Diary 6 soon
1. Default Chapter

I don't own Harry Potter Lilys Diary 

September 1st (night)

Dear Diary

Well I am at last back at Hogwarts and I already told you that I am a prefect. The other prefect is Remus Lupin so James was telling the truth when I asked if he was the other prefect. I just wish he was because then we could work together. Oh well at least it was Remus and not some guy I don't know at all. I wonder what is going on in the boy's rooms right now? I wonder what they are talking about because I wonder if they are talking about me or any other girl that looks good, and I also wonder what they are doing (well not really) I just wonder what James is doing. He never really tells me what he tells his guy friends when I am not around. I hope that he is not telling them that I am going to try out for Quidditch because I want that to be a surprise for the guys on the team as well as the girls. I just hope that I am good because that will be a sign on James because he was the one who helped me learn how to fly and be a chaser. Well I am dieing to know so I will be right back

45 minutes later

Well diary they were talking about me but in a good way, they were asking James how I was doing but they had just seen me a few hours ago. I heard James say that him and I were doing perfect together. I just wonder what he meant by that. Did he mean that we were perfect for one another or that we were perfectly in love? I guess I am not supposed to understand guy talk. Then they asked how his summer went and he said that I spent the whole summer at his house and that made is special and a summer to never forget because he finally saw the real me away from books and studying, and then Remus said that he could have told him about me and never studying because Remus had seen me writing and reading muggle books on some weekends. After that I came back here because I didn't want to seem like a spy or something.

Well I wonder how tomorrow will go because tomorrow is the start of term and I am a little scared because it is also the first prefect meeting where we meet the head boy and girl along with the other prefects. I wonder who else is a prefect?

Well I am a little tired so I am going to go to bed.

Night

Lily

September 2nd (Morning)

Dear Diary

I decided to write in you now to tell you how I am feeling before I have been to ANY classes and opened ANY books besides you. I just hope that I do well in my classes today because these are the first classes.

Well I better get ready for my classes today

I will write in you later

Lily

September 2nd (Night)

Dear Diary

Today went ok because I kind of messed up in my first class which was Transfiguration and I don't know why because I use to be so good at it and now I am not as good at it. But I was great at Charms today and I use to be kind of bad at it. Maybe this is a sign because James use to be good at Charms and now he is bad at them and good at Transfiguration. Oh well I will not stress over being bad at a subject because its no big deal YET because we got the OWL talk in EVERY class today and I know that these are important exams but we don't need the talk in EVERY class. Well James told me today that the Quidditch tryouts are in 2 weeks because the first match of the session is in over a month.

Well with that said now on the prefect meeting, and we had that after our lessons and before dinner, and we talked about the dances, Hogsmead trips, and other things. So now we know about why OWLs are so important because if you score high enough then you can be one of the heads your 7th year. SO I want to get a good OWL score so I can be head girl like everyone thinks I will be. I guess they are right because who else would be head girl? People say that it has to be me because I have worked for it and they are right I have worked really hard these last 4 years and I want to show all my hard work.

Well I guess I can when its time to take OWLs. Well I got a ton of work to do because they are getting us ready for those tests so I am going to go and work on my essays and other things I got today

Bye for now

Lily

September 10th (Night)

Dear Diary

Sorry for not writing in you for so long but I have been VERY busy with all the homework that the professors decided to give us because of OWLs coming up but we are not going to take them for a long time because its not even Christmas Break and that is when we usually start getting more and more work to do. Well the big news now is that James has not been working as hard as he should be. I guess I should be nagging him but I feel like it's his life and his choices. I know that I should try to get him to work harder but he will be a free spirit and if I were to nag him he would just get mad at me.

I just wish there was a way to ask him to do his work so that he would do the homework that our professors give us. These essays and other work they give us are to prepare us for the OWLs that we are going to take and they say what classes we are going to be able to take our 6th and 7th years and what we can do after we graduate.

Well I will be right back because I want to take a quick walk around the lake.

1 hour later

Well I am back and I have cleared my head so now I feel so much better, I was walking out there all alone because James decided to work for a change so I didn't even bother to ask him to join me. I also didn't want to bother Remus or Sirius because they were working on their homework. I think I will go down and study a little with my friends Kathleen and Emily so I guess I will go.

Bye

Lily

September 11th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I think that I will do ok in my classes today because I have Charms but I also have Transfiguration so I am worried about that because I can't get the spells right and before I could. Oh well at least I have Charms today. I know I got my essays for Charms, potions, DADA, Transfiguration, Herbolgy, and last Ancient Ruins all done. I just hope that I do ok in my classes.

Well I better go because I still need to get my uniform on and then do my hair.

Bye

Lily

September 11th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today Transfiguration was bad again I don't know what my problem is but I did great in Charms and in my other classes but a lot better in Charms. I wonder what is going on in my Transfiguration class that has caused me to be bad at it? I guess I will never know because I like being good at Charms.

Well I think I will go for a walk or better yet a ride on my broom to clear my head. Maybe I will go with James because the tryouts are tomorrow and I need him to fly with me because I need him to tell me if I am ready to try out or if I should wait another year.

2 hours later

Well I went for a fly with James and when we got back to the common room he kissed me before he went up to his room telling me goodnight then I came here.

I can't believe how that kiss felt, there were fireworks going off when our lips met. I just wonder if James got the same feeling I got that we are meant to be together forever. I just hope that we are going to last forever because I REALLY love him with all my heart and soul.

Well I better go because I am tired and tryouts are tomorrow and I need to be well rested for them

Night

Lily

Authors note:

Well I need some ideas for Hermione's Diary should I pair Hermione with Ron or Harry and should I also make Hermione play the guitar or not because I want to make Hermione cool in some ways.

And R&R


	2. Chapter 2

I don't Own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

September 12th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was the tryouts for the Quidditch team and I think I did ok because I did my best and I also did what James was teaching me over the summer. James said that he bet that the results would be posted tomorrow morning or afternoon, and I hope that they are posted by the time I wake up because I doubt that I could take waiting until afternoon.

Well I saw James and well since I am a prefect and well he isn't (that's so sad) I told him that I had to go and do my patrolling with Remus (Who is the other prefect) about every day to find people and well tell the head boy and girl if these students that we catch are out past curfew. We can also give them detention but we can't take away points.

Well I have to go and do my patrol duty and then after I finish that I need to go to bed because I am so tired!

Night all

Lily

September 13th (late Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I found out that I made the Quidditch team and I am a chaser! I am so exited because now me and James are together on the team he is the seeker and I am a chaser and tonight is the first practice of the new term. I can't wait because I am so excited about being able to fly with the team and win the Quidditch cup so that Gryffindor can at last be a winner because last year we only lost by a few points.

Well I better run because I have to get to class.

Bye

Lily

September 13th (Late Night)

Dear Diary

Well I just got through my first Quidditch practice and it wasn't too bad I mean I could have done better if James had not been yelling at me because I wasn't flying fast enough for him and he is a seeker!

I am wondering why I wasn't flying well enough because before I was doing really well. I guess I had a lot on my mind while I was flying because well James was there and he kept on looking my way even while he was suppose to be doing his job.

I am so glad that I finished all my homework and I had a lot of it because of OWLs and while I was coming up here James was still buried behind his pile of books, and I was wondering when he was going to be done and also before I came up I offered to help him finish it but he said he wanted to do it himself and with his friends.

Oh well not my fault but I have a feeling that he will be sending one of my friends someday to get me and be asking me for help.

Well I better go because I am so tired

Night

Lily

September 15th (Late Night)

Dear Diary

Well I am sorry that I haven't been writing in a while but I have been busy with Quidditch practice and my first Quidditch match is coming up on November 12th and I am scared because I am in charge of scoring and what if I decide to have an off day?

Well it's sort of a ways away so I just have to practice hard and hope for the best. James has not been yelling at me because I have been playing really good since my first practice, and I am happy about that.

James has been working really hard to stay up in the ranks of classes but even with Quidditch I am still high in the ranks.

Well I better go because I am so tired.

Night

Lily

September 17th (Saturday early morning)

Dear Diary

Well I know it's early for me to be up on a Saturday but I just woke up from having a bad dream and I had at first been having a good dream and then all of a sudden it turned into me all alone no James and none of my friends there to save me and I didn't have my wand to save myself. See normally when I have these dreams I go to James's room and he holds me and says that he will protect me and I stay with him, but this time I want to be strong for myself. Oh who am I kidding I am too scared to even try to go back to sleep but none the less I don't want to wake James up at 4:00 a.m. so I will just hope that I can will myself to go to sleep.

Well I am going to go and lay down in the common room because maybe someone is awake down there or maybe there is a warm fire lit and I can stare into it.

I will write later

Bye

Lily

September 17th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I didn't get back to sleep I came down to the common room and well stared into the fire and just thought about that dream until I heard somebody wake up and then I came back up to my dorm room and stared out the window until at last James sent one of my friends to come and see if I was awake, Kathleen just left to say to him yes but she is studying up in the dorm because she doesn't feel like coming down. I just hope that I don't have that dream again.

I just don't want to see James yet and have to tell him about the dream or he will worry too much about me.

Well I better go because I need to really study.

Night

Lily

Authors Note: Sorry for not updating sooner but I have been busy with school and my bf broke up with me and I have at last come to terms with it. I will be sure to update sooner

R&R please!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

September 18th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I had the nightmare again and I still haven't told James but I have a feeling that he would be mad for not telling him about the last nightmare that I had. There is no way I can tell him without him freaking out. I just can't get back to sleep and I really want to tell him, what am I going to do? He will totally freak out and he will get all protective of me but I have never really told him anything so I don't really know I guess if I have the dream again then I will tell him or go and sleep in his room or maybe tonight I will because maybe that will fight off the dream if I am near him.

Well the other girls are waking up so I better go and get ready for a fun filled day of classes.

Bye

Lily

September 18th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I am getting ready to go and sleep in the boys dorms because I already asked James and all we are going to do is sleep I mean god get your mind out of the gutter! I am not ready to do THAT yet, anyway I just want to see if James can fight off the dream before I tell him. I can't really explain the dream all I see is a man in a black cloak and he points his wand at me and then I wake up in a cold sweat and then I can't sleep because the dream is on my mind. It feels like its haunting me and I wish that I could forget it but I can't because I have had the same dream over and over again and I can't figure out why I would be having a dream about a bright green light then I wake up and I am shaking then I am unable to sleep.

Well I better go because James is most likely wondering what is taking me so long

Night

Lily

September 19th (Saturday Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I didn't have that dream but it doesn't matter because I have so much homework to do because this year is OWL year and I want to do well on it and James says that I will be fine and I guess I overreacted because I kind of yelled at him saying that he didn't understand that these tests mean everything to me because they say who will be head girl and if I will be prefect next year along with the marks that I make this year and next. James isn't even a prefect so he has more time to work on his homework than me and Remus because we have to help with patrolling the hallways and such.

Yesterday while I was overreacting about my work I got a Potion, Transfiguration, and DADA essays to do and they are all due next lesson. James needs to understand that you can't go around doing pranks and then be lazy and at the last moment do your work because you don't do as well that way. It's better to do your work then be lazy.

I think I am going to take a fly since I think Quidditch Practice is today and I am a chaser and I need to work on being faster than the other chasers and the other teams since James is the seeker he has to be faster than the other team's seeker because we want to win all the matches so we can get the Quidditch Cup.

Well better go

Lily

September 19th (Late Night)

Dear Diary

Well I just got back from Quidditch practice and well it wasn't as bad as it could because our beaters couldn't do anything to save their lives and the caption kept yelling and stopping practice just because they were messing up. And I was doing really good yet EVERY time they stopped everyone thought that it was my fault.

Oh well not my problem because I know that I am good and that I did my best. James was pretty good himself yet all he has to do is just chase the golden snitch and then we win because its worth 150 points and that means that you can almost always win.

Well I better go because I am really tired after that hard practice so I will just write in you tomorrow.

Night

Lily

Been awhile so I decided to put this up!


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Harry Potter

Lily's Diary

September 20th (Late night)

Dear Diary

I am so upset that I can't really write you see James broke up with me yesterday and I am really upset because he didn't say why he was breaking up with me he just said that he couldn't do it anymore and I keep wondering why he would just break up with me because I thought that we were so happy, I just hope that he will come back to me someday like maybe in a few years because I know that we are suppose to be together. I think I will pretend to hate him but well my friends will know that it's all an act but HIS friends will think that I really hate him, I won't date any other guy because my heart belongs to James Potter so well even though he doesn't know that yet he still holds my heart and always will.

I just hope that he will come back to me, oh great my tears are falling down my cheeks and I don't want to look like I have been crying and have red puffy eyes tomorrow because I don't want him to know that he hurt me this bad. I need to be strong and get through this and do good on my OWLs because those will tell me what classes I can take next year because I need to think about what I want to do when I get out of school. I guess I will have to think about what job I want to do when I am out of school.

Well I am going to go and try not to cry and work on my potions essay before I go to bed.

Love

Lily

September 22nd (Late afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I am still really upset but today I didn't see James and I heard his friends talking about how James doesn't even have a new girlfriend since he broke up with me and they don't even know why he broke up with me. Well I have a ton of homework and tomorrow is a prefect meeting and I don't want to be a prefect because I am still upset I mean I still like James. I will have to see him at Quidditch practice and it's about to kill me because I don't know why he broke up with me and its killing me inside. I swear that if people could die of a broken heart I would most likely be dead by now, not like I am going to kill myself over this because that would be stupid its just weird that out of the blue he says that he can't do this anymore and then runs away from me.

I will find out why he broke up with me if it's the last thing I do.

Well I better go and do all my homework and then some because that will take my mind off this whole thing.

Bye

Lily

September 23rd (LATE night)

Dear Diary

Well I am feeling better and well things couldn't be worse with James because he is in all my classes and I have Quidditch practice as well so I see him there. But it could be worse because well I stopped hanging out on the grounds because I need to study for my OWLs so I have been hiding in the library until it closes or curfew whatever comes first and I walk up the girls staircase without anybody seeing me and well like I care anymore because who should see the girl who got dumped by James Potter!

I really need to get over him because I can't let this get to me and get in the way of my grades and I will not let it because my grades are way more important than boys and one boy in general James Potter.

He will never see the hurt he caused me by breaking up with me and I still don't know why because he just said that he couldn't do it anymore and not sure what that means. But I guess I will find out soon because well I want him back yet I don't because he hurt me yet I still love him.

Well better go

Night

Lily

October 1st (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I have gotten better at least enough to make it through a day that when I see James I don't start crying like before and now his friends are all being jerks because well they taunt me because they see me piled behind all my books and last night if Remus hadn't seen them (Remus is the only nice one and I think that James is just trying to hide the fact that he likes me by being mean) then they would have set fire to my charms paper and Remus jumped right in and made them give my paper back and well after I got my paper back I ran to the girls staircase and shut the door to it and before it closed it I heard Remus yelling at his friends saying that taking homework is not really a good thing and then I heard him say to James that taking Lily's Homework wont get her back and after that I walked up to my dorm that I share with Marah, Isabella (new student), and Rita lucky for me they were not in the dorm when I came back because I then just laid down on the bed and started crying into my pillows. I am not sure how long I was crying but I heard a knocking on the tower window and it was James and I guess he was looking at me but when he saw the look I gave him and watched me pull my curtains on my bed closed I guess he left.

He made me so upset that I don't know what to do because I really like him and I don't know why I do after all he has done to me I mean he has hurt me so much but what I have left of my heart still loves him.

It's really hard to explain why I feel this way because I don't even know why because well it's not like I can owl my mom and get her advice because I don't know what she would say. That and I kind of want to find this thing out on my own.

Well I better go

Lily

October 7th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I am feeling a lot better and I have all my work done for the week and I am just so happy because I am doing so well in Charms and I am doing ok in Transfiguration I guess I will have to ask for help so I can do great in it for my OWLs because I really need to pass with an O because these are important tests besides the NEWTs.

Well I hear Marah coming up the stairs so I better go

Night

Lily

Well how was that? Sorry f0r the wait because of everything going on in my life right now I haven't had time to write and I had writers block on this story so I had to think about what I was going to do.

I will try to write the next chapter and make it up to you guys!

R&R please!


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

October 8th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I am having an ok day because I have been doing better in school and so far James hasn't been able to find me and I just hope that he isn't watching me sleep because I can't sleep with the curtains to my bed shut because it gets way too dark if I wake up in the middle of the night like I have been doing these last few nights. It started before James broke up with me and its gotten worse since then because there are nights when I can't even fall back asleep and I just end up laying there staring out the tower window until I decide its time to get ready for class or do my homework on the weekends since there isn't anything better to do because my friends are all busy and I am busy with Quidditch but who knows how long I will be on the team because I haven't been doing as good as I normally did when me and James were together. I am just so stressed out because OWLs are this year, James broke up with me, and my sleep pattern has been ruined along with my homework sort of getting larger and I heard its suppose to get worse as the year goes on and I already have A LOT of work!

I have been trying not to watch James and I quit going to Hogsmead because who am I suppose to go with when I don't have a boyfriend and I can just ask my friends to get me some sweets because they know what I like and what I don't like.

Well I better go because there is nothing really to say anymore.

Night

Lily

October 10th (Early Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I haven't written in you in a while because my work load got to be so much that I about went crazy and I had Quidditch practice that I had to go to even though I am mentally and physically tired because I haven't been getting a lot of sleep since the last time I wrote in you but I think that Quidditch has been helping a little and the fact that I have been being mean to James because he has been wanting to take me to Hogsmead and well I said I wouldn't go with him and went to the library after I showered and changed from my practice clothes.

He seemed like he was hurt but well I walked away after that because I really did need to go to the library because I had to research for a Charms paper and a Transfiguration paper so I could write a good paper because they are due in another week so I am looking forward to a whole day dedicated to researching and drafting my paper.

Well I am off to the library

Lily

October 10th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I just got back from the library and I have both of my papers drafted and all I need to do is edit the papers and write the final copy and then they will be ready to turn in.

I talked to Remus and Isabella about my weird sleep patterns and they both are worried about me. Remus told me to get him if I can't sleep and he would help me relax and Isabella told me to do something besides work because that will just make me think and if I think then I wont fall asleep, she just told me to r4elax my brain and if that didn't work to wake her up or go down to the common room and lay down on one of the couches with a blanket and try and sleep down there. So I guess I will try Isabella's advice first because I don't want James to find out about my dreams because what will that make him think then, that I am afraid of a little scary dream (more like a really scary dream but anyway.)

I think I am going to go to bed

Night

Lily

November 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

I am really sorry for not writing my homework pile has been keeping me up half the night so I haven't tried anything to make me stay awake but my homework because I am awake past everyone with homework and prefect duties and then I am up before anyone with my studying and reading in the library. The OWLs are going to be happening near the end of the year and here I am already freaking out about them. I sound like I want a perfect score (doesn't everybody) and I see James and he is all calm and collected about this and I wish I was like him because I would give anything to act calm about this. I mean these tests determine what we can be when we grow up and what classes we will take next year and I need to think about what I want to be when I grow up because it's coming up faster than I would like.

Well it's getting late so I am going to go and try and sleep.

Night

Lily

November 3rd (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I have been going to Quidditch practice and I have been doing a lot better now that I have sort of gotten over James. I know that I will never really get over him for the fact that he still holds my heart in his hands or maybe he threw it away. I have also been working on my Charms and Transfiguration papers for OWL standards I need them to be almost perfect.

I am doing really well in potions because we got a new potions teacher, his name is Professor Slughorn. Yep that's right Professor Moonstone left and none of us are sure why Professor Moonstone left because it just happened and there was Professor Slughorn.

I am looking forward to having potions with him because he says that I am really good at potions and he is forming a kind of club called the Slug Club or something like that.

Well I better go

Night

Lily


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

November 4th (Late afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well we played a Quidditch game today and we won, I know I should be at the party but I am not really in the mood to party because well since the whole break up all I see is James sitting by himself in front of the fire but today a part of his fan club was getting the kind of attention I use to get and it just about made me start to cry because he has moved on and here I am still getting upset about this whole thing. I guess I really did love him and I just need to stay strong about this and keep being mean to him.

Anyways new topic me and Remus are suppose to do patrolling later and he is down in the common room partying like crazy or at least he was when I came upstairs and nobody saw, except I did see James look at me when I opened the door to the girls staircase then when I at last closed the door to it I guess that's when he looked away. Because no boys can come upstairs but I bet that they could fly their brooms up the stairs. Girls can go up the boy's staircase which is a good thing because how else would I get Remus if I needed a friend to talk to because he is the only nice friend of James who I can talk to without feeling stupid or like a baby going to. Gosh is it just me or did they turn up the music again it's so loud I can hear it up here and I have the window open so I bet the whole world can hear this party.

Well I think I am going to go but I will write in you later.

Bye for now

Lily

November 4th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I just got back from patrolling the halls with Remus and it took an act of god just to get him away from the party and when we got out he asked me why I left the party and when I said that I wasn't really in the partying mood he all of a sudden became serious because he knows about me and James breaking up (who doesn't) and became very understanding to me knowing that since I had seen James and wanted to leave and be by myself. I think that Remus is worried about me but I am not sure about that because well Remus is very protective of me and he always was I am just trying to get over his best friend and it's harder than it seems. Well anyway after we finished he went to the boy's staircase and I went to the girls.

I wonder how my family is doing because I haven't heard about them in awhile? I should write them a letter to send with my owl and hope that they are alright, maybe my mom can give me some advice on getting over James the fast way because I am tired of crying and I don't want James to know how much he hurt me.

Well I will be right back because I want to write to my parents so hang on and I will be right back and we can talk about some other things.

30 minutes later

Well I am back and well I heard that there is a Hogsmead trip this coming weekend and I am so happy because there is a new store opening there and it will sell clothes to wear and also school robes and uniform parts (skirts, shirts, Mary Janes. Or whatever else is needed for the uniform) I am looking forward to spending the money I have saved since I last got money out which was this summer when I stayed at the Potters.

I need a new robe, some new clothes for the weekend because they sell that kind of thing.

Well I am tired and there is school tomorrow because tomorrow is Tuesday and that's going to be another long day.

Night

Lily

November 6th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I got a letter from my parents and they are doing fine and what they told me in the letter is that they are very proud of me and that they can't wait to see how far I will get in the world here. Then they told me to keep on studying hard and that well then my mom sent me a little letter attached to the one both of them had sent saying that James may still love me so that I should stay as single as possible and to play hard to get like fight with him and also to never be easy to find. I thought that was very good advice.

I know that my mom knows what she is talking about so tomorrow I am going to try and do what she advised me to do and see what happens next with me and James. I am totally going to rock when I do Quidditch practice. I know it's not a good thing to want to do. Oh there is an owl for me hmm wonder why I am getting an owl this late?

Hang on a minute

15 minutes later

Well my Quidditch for girls magazine just got here but those other girls will never let me sleep (well my friends wont let me sleep if they knew I got this magazine) I will have to read this with a book in front of it so that people will think that I am just reading like I normally do down in the common room.

I just can't believe that it at last decided to come tonight maybe the owl likes to come at night so that's a good thing.

Well it's starting to get late so I better go

Night

Lily

November 8th (Late afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I am done with my classes for the weekend and Professor Slughorn gave us an essay to write that is due next week sometime so I am going to be busy with that. I got my Transfiguration paper back and it had an E on it so I guess that's good because it's a passing grade, I know that this paper was better than my last, I also got my charms paper back and it had an O on it so I am proud of myself because I made really good grades on both of those papers.

I know I am going to be living in the library this weekend but won't that make me easy to find when it comes time for James to come looking for me. I guess I can go to a different part of the library because well I don't want to be found this weekend. Well if Remus needs me because we are suppose to have a prefect meeting sometime and I am not sure because well its hard to say when they are they are on odd days. I am looking forward to that Hogsmead trip because I can't just skip it so I will use that as a break from my paper, and I don't really care who I see in Hogsmead because I doubt that me and my friends will see anybody because we are going to be in that new store that just opened.

I think that I will try and act as normal as possible because I am going to go and read my new magazine down in the common room by the fire so I better find a book to hide the magazine. I will write in you tomorrow because I really want to see what is going on and do a bit of reading.

Bye for now

Lily

November 9th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well the Hogsmead trip was really fun because I went into that new clothes store and bought some new winter cloaks, some new shoes, and some of the other clothes, and I still have money left over then we went and got some candy. After that I went back and sat in the library surrounded by potions books and paper and a quill reading and taking notes because well this paper is very important, I was in a far corner of the library with a candle in the middle of my table but it was away from my paper because well I didn't want to start a fire in the library. I finished the notes I think but I guess tomorrow I will take some more and then start writing the paper for Professor Slughorn.

I am so happy that today turned out to be really good and I got something done (well almost done) and now I am in a good mood because I am going to finish everything and maybe I will be able to have fun for a change.

Well better go

Night

Lily

Authors note: Well what do you think? Is this a good chapter?

Sorry for the delay I have been busy with school, friends, and my boyfriend. I will try and work on the next chapter!

R&R please


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

November 11th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I finished my paper and I finished it last night around 3 in the morning and well I didn't get a lot of sleep last night because I was doing that paper, it took me longer than I thought because I had a lot of information that was just too good to dump it so I decided to add it to my paper and it turned out to be a really good paper and I turned it in today because we had a double potions period today and that is when Professor Slughorn asked for our papers I am not sure how I did but I have a feeling that Professor Slughorn liked my paper so yeah I just hope that I do really good because I worked really hard on it and also put a lot of time into it.

I hope that Remus is ok because I didn't see him and well I didn't see James either and I still am not really sure but I am more worried about Remus and kind of worried about James because they were not in any classes today and when I looked out the window just now I see a full moon tonight and well I am more scared for Remus because he is my best guy friend and well James is my ex boyfriend. I just remembered that full moons have many dangers and one of the biggest ones are werewolves because if you get bitten by a werewolf then you become one and well I just hope that they are not sick or outside.

Well it's late so I will write in you tomorrow if I have time because I am very busy with homework and classes, and add a lot of studying.

Night

Lily

November 13th (LATE night)

Dear Diary

Well I got really busy yesterday so I wasn't able to write in you because of all the homework that I got in my classes. Let's just say that it was a lot of work that I still have to work on but its due I think in a few days so I have time. Remus is fine but is far behind on his work because of missing class day before yesterday and yesterday because he really was sick. James is sick too but well he has his fan club of girls to take care of him so I am not that worried about him because we haven't even talked at all since we broke up except he wont stop looking at me and well I just want him to leave me alone because well he ended it not me.

Well on a lighter note I got my potions essay back and it had an A on it so I have to work in that. I was very upset when I saw that even though I passed it wasn't my best, and I know I could have done a lot better. I think I will write to my parents and send it with my owl because well I need to let them know that I am still alright and well because I am sure that they would like to know how their little girl is doing, I wonder how my sister is doing I mean she never writes to me and I wonder why. I mean she is my sister and I thought that we were suppose to love each other but every time I go home she gives me dirty looks and acts like I am not there but since I wasn't home last summer I am sure she had a blast without me. I wish I hadn't spent all that time with James yet at the time I thought that everything was going to be alright and well its not now. Maybe I could write to James's mom and well just ask if maybe she could give me some advice on how to let James see that he still loves me because ,I know that he does because why else would he be looking at me.

I just wish that I still had James to hug and cuddle with….. those were the memories I will never forget along with my first kiss (very first kiss) with James and the broomstick rides in the summer (not what you are thinking ) in the air over the summer and the love we shared.

Well it's late and I don't want to start crying again over something that's over and done with for now. Before I go to bed I am going to write to Mrs. Potter and ask for some help.

Night

Lily

December 1st (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I haven't gotten around to writing to Mrs. Potter because of all the work I have had to do and well I need to write to her because there is a lot that I need to say because maybe she would understand why James broke up with me because well I want to know because well I miss him even though now that he realizes that he really liked me he doesn't want to be without me because well I don't want to be without him (confusing isn't it) but he can't know that I still like him or he may not ever come back to me.

Well I have classes soon so I better go and get ready for them since we only have a few more weeks and then it's Christmas Holidays.

Bye for now

Lily

December 1st (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I wrote to Mrs. Potter during my lunch period and at the moment waiting for her to respond to me with words of kindness, I told her what happened with me and James and that I didn't know what to do because I was so upset and I didn't him to see how upset I was.

I guess all I can do now is to wait and see how she responds to me if she does because she is most likely about as busy as me and maybe even more than me because all I have to do is just study for OWLs and try and remember to take notes in all my classes then study all the notes from the years past and this years notes. I am kind of scared to take the tests because I am scared that I will fail them and not be able to do anything with my career because I need to have good OWL scores so I can decide what I want when I have to do my career advice later this school year.

Well I did see James today so I know that he is ok but he was sitting next to and talking to a sluty looking girl and well I don't really care (yeah right you caught me I really do) but its just that we were suppose to last forever and he promised me that he wouldn't hurt me and well he did and now he is seeing this sluty girl (I just heard this from my friend Isabelle she saw them down in the common room totally making out (ew nasty) and well like I want to see that, I know that he most likely wanted to date her so now he is trying to get me down because he wants to look like he is doing something besides thinking about me. Well Remus, me and the other prefects are planning a Christmas ball for the 4th years and above so I wont be going home for Christmas but like I would have been going home because I have exams to study for and also a dance to plan for and a dress to get (I outgrew my other and gave it to my 4th year friend) so now I have to also go and get a new dress to wear because we are going to wear muggle things again because well most of the prefects are muggles and we want to dress the way we would if we were going to a muggle high school dance.

Well I better go because I am tired, and I will try and write tomorrow if I have time.

Night

Lily


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

December 3rd (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I just got back from a prefects meeting and we were planning our dance and well we decided to have the Christmas dance on well Christmas Day because that way people can go to Hogsmead a few weeks before the dance and maybe their parents or friends get them stuff to go with their outfits (confusing right I wanted it Christmas Eve but oh well) also I checked the board with Hogsmead trip dates and we are suppose to go this weekend (Its Monday darn) and I need to go with my friends and we can pick out dresses because of the dance and all.

I am really looking forward to it because even though I don't have a date yet I know that I will have a lot of fun at this because I helped plan the thing and well maybe if James sees what he is missing then he may come back to me but that's yet to be seen as the dance has to be planned and I have to get a really pretty dress and shoes and decide how I am going to do my hair and make up. Man planning a dance is hard work and deciding what to wear and how to look is even more hard because there are so many things I can do and many styles of dresses that I can get.

I still haven't gotten a letter from Mrs. Potter but I can only hope that she is alright and got my letter, but even if she doesn't reply I can just deal with James and as long as he doesn't mess with me or my homework then everything will be just fine

Well I need to go

Night

Lily

December 5th (Late Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I have been busy because I got tons of Charms homework and Transfiguration homework and not to mention potions and Ancient Ruins I am taking it because that way I can have something to do incase I want to go into the class next year as an NEWT student because I am still not sure what I want to do yet after I am done with Hogwarts so I will have to think hard over what I want to do because it's a huge choice to make because its going to be my career which will last forever.

Well anyway Professor Slughorn has been having a lot of parties but I have been busy with Quidditch because it seems that every time he is going to hold a party I have Quidditch practice. I guess the Quidditch Captain doesn't want us to have any fun (I don't remember his name but I can tell you that its not James) and well I really want to go to one of Professor Slughorn's parties because I need to have more fun in my life, I talked to Remus today after class and well he says that he thinks that the dance is going to be a whole lot better when we finish planning it then planning the thing because I talked to the Head girl and she said that we wont have to worry about getting dates because we go with our partner (like I would go with Remus) I guess that is better than waiting to be asked but then again I would rather go with someone else but Remus is fine because we are also Potions partners because he is really smart and a lot smarter than James was maybe he studies harder than James does.

I get to go to Hogsmead in a few days because well me and my friends are so excited about the dance even though there were so many last year but I heard from the 6th years who were 5th years last year that there were even more than we knew because some of the dances and parties we were not allowed to go to because we were only 4th years at the time.

Well I need to go and work on my Transfiguration, Charms, and Potions work because I have a lot of work to get done that's due within the next week gosh time passes really fast because now its really close to Christmas time and yet it seems like only yesterday I got to Hogwarts.

Bye for now

Lily

December 7th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well tomorrow is our Hogsmead trip and I am so excited because well I get to hang out with my friends and get to look at really pretty dresses and I would have to say its better to pick out your own with your best friends so that they can tell you if it looks good on you than to have your mom pick out one without even asking what kind of style you want. Well I hear that James is going to take the girl who looks sort of like a slut and Remus told me that he heard from James's best friend Sirius Black that James still likes me. I don't believe it because if he still liked me he would still be with me and we would dance together at the dance go to Hogsmead together because the trip is tomorrow. If he still cared about me he wouldn't be making out with the girl who looks kind of like a slut.

Oh well like I really care about him and who he dates, it doesn't really matter to me because he walked out of my life and well we went down different paths so who knows maybe just maybe those paths will meet up somewhere.

Well I need to send my parents a letter because they need to know what my plans are because well I need to tell them that I am not going to go home for Christmas again because well of the dance and all also I need to ask my mom if she has any ideas on how I should do my hair because I am at a loss on how to do my hair. I have an idea on how I am going to do my make up but I need to wait because maybe my mom or friends can think of something. Anyways I am so glad that everything is almost ready and that I feel like I can do no wrong because I have stayed single this long, I don't want to date another guy because I really loved James. Maybe I should because James seems to have moved on so that must be a sign that I should too.

Well I better go because it's getting a little late and I need my sleep for shopping in Hogsmead.

Night

Lily

Authors Note: Well how was that? I sort of rushed the ending to this but I need ideas on a dress for Lily and well I can't think of any.

R&R please!


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own Harry Potter (though I wish I did)

December 8th (night)

Dear Diary

Well I didn't get to Hogsmead today because I got so busy with doing other things like my homework and trying to avoid James because I don't really want to run into him, it would be really bad if I did because he may try and get me back and well I am not going to go back to someone who just breaks up with me because he claims that he can't do it anymore and then goes after girls who are sluts. It just makes me really mad because I really care for him yet here he is going after other girls then he has the nerve to ask me back out…..what does he take me for a fool? I mean I really want to go back to him but I don't want him to know it yet because well it's really hard to talk about. I might send Mrs. Potter an owl asking her what I should do I need some advice because my mom told me that a broken heart will heal and just give it time but I still cry every time I try not to think about James its gotten really hard to be in the same house as him….but I need to stay strong,

I can't let him see how much this has hurt me; I won't let him see me cry. James Potter is a jerk and I will not ever let him see how much he hurt me because he will never get close enough to me. Well anyways I still will be on the Quidditch team because well it's a chance to show just how strong I am, and also I like playing Quidditch because it keeps me healthy and also I like flying. Flying can take your mind off anything that's bothering you. I have been doing that a lot since well me and James split and I have also been trying to keep my grades up and I at first found that hard but now its really easy I mean all I have to do is study a little harder each day. I know that all my studying will pay off because I really want to be made Head Girl because well it's a great honor and you can have your own rooms because well you have worked that hard and it's a reward and I see it as a good one.

I know its really late but who cares I am just sitting by the fire with all the lights turned off because that's how I feel (really dark on the inside) and well who comes down this late because well I am the only one down here in the middle of the night and really I could care less because why should I care if people find out that I write in a diary I mean every girl does.

I feel like I am happy right now because well I have 1 true friend and that's you diary because you will never leave me, you are who I can write in about all my feelings and not worry about being laughed at. Any of my other friends would laugh at what I write in you but well you just are what I can write in.

Well it's gotten a little late so I am going to go and get some sleep.

Night

Lily

December 15th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I know that it's been a while but well I finally found the perfect dress it's a light blue strapless dress that's got glitter and a little slit up the side (nothing really major) and I also got a ring with a blue stone in it (I could change it with magic if I wanted to) and some light blue dress shoes that have a heel on them to make me just a little taller. I am also going to wear a necklace that James gave me (not because I am going with him…I am going with Remus because the prefects are going with their partners) because well it looks nice with my dress and I like it. Remus doesn't know what my dress looks like but that's ok because well I want him to be surprised. I remember when James took me to our first dance it was worth him not knowing what I was wearing or how my hair and make up looked.

I am just glad that I got my dress because now my friends and I can get ready together because we all got our dresses today so we can get ready for the dance together like we usually do. I can't wait maybe James will see how happy I am without being with him except I might have to be close to him like if he asks me to dance with him. I am kind of happy that James isn't a prefect because well then I would have to go with him anyways and I don't really want to be close to him now.

Well I better go because well I need to work on my homework and study.

Lily

December 20th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well Mrs. Potter wrote me back and well she said that James most likely just needed space and to show him that I am not hurt by what he did and also to focus on my exams and do my best….she also said that she knows that James really loves me and she hopes that I do well on my exams. I was really surprised that she wrote me back because I know that she is really busy and I thought that she would never have time to write me back.

I saw James today at Quidditch practice and well after it finished he was following me back up to the castle but well I had a feeling that he would because we always use to walk together back up to the castle it was what we did together because even then I was always busy with homework. I sometimes wish that I hadn't pushed him away.

Well I need to go because I am really tired.

Night

Lily

December 22nd (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I got a free day today because I broke down yesterday I totally flipped out because I got a lot of work and well I just broke down and started crying because of all the stress. I normally don't do stuff like that but I did because I am weak. James and Remus saw the whole thing because I was in the library and all of a sudden I broke down and started crying and yelling that I was too stupid to do all the stuff I was suppose to do and well I must have passed out because I woke up and I was in my own bed and it was late last night. I can't believe I did that because well I am supposed to be strong and that was just weak. Well my professors are letting me take the day off more like forcing me to take the day off and they are not going to take off from my grade because well I couldn't help what I did. I just hope that Remus takes really good notes because I am going to have to copy them so that I can pass my OWL.

Well better go so that I can relax some more and try not to stress out again.

Lily

Sorry for the delay been busy.

R&R


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

December 23rd (night)

Dear Diary

Well Its Christmas Break and well the dance is coming up and I can't wait because I am happy that I got my dress and that Remus is taking me and not James. This is the time of my life where I am glad that James isn't the other prefect and Remus is. Remus has always been a good friend and a very hard worker like me, and well I just can't wait for the dance.

I have been working on my homework and it's been coming along really good because well since my breakdown Remus has been checking on me and he gave me the notes from the class I missed. This year we are not getting much of a Christmas break and well most of the students really hate it and I bet that next year we will get the normal amount of a break (more like I hope so) because I really do love the Christmas Holidays because they give me a break from all the work I have been doing for half the year and it also brings me closer to the Summer Holidays. I just wish that this year so far wasn't just all drama and was filled with more fun. I mean the term started great then it just got drama filled and well I just want to get this dance over with because I am not really looking forward to it as much as I did last years. Maybe that's because last year I went with James. This year he is going with a girl who is in Ravenclaw. I wish I was that girl but now James just drives me crazy and I wish he would leave me alone so I could get through my tests and on with my life.

All I can say is that I am glad that I have you to write the drama of my life in so that when I am older I can go back and read you and laugh over what happened while I was in school. I do want to show off my dress to everyone and also how happy I can look with out James by my side. I do put on an act when he is not around and well my friends think that I am really happy when in a way I am and in another way I am just really depressed.

Well I better go because I need to go and do some stuff but I will try to write tomorrow.

Love

Lily

December 24th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well everything has been going good because tomorrow night is the dance and well I know that this is going to sound bad but I hope that next year I can go home and see my family over the break because I know that they must miss me because they didn't get to see me last year. I miss my mom the most because her and I are really close I mean my dad and I are close just not as close as I am to my mom. I mean my mom and I go on shopping trips together and we laugh over the clothes and also her and I watch movies together. I just hope that she is ok. Because well I haven't gotten a letter from her in a while, and well I guess I should write a letter to her asking how she is. I guess that I should write to both my mom and my dad because I am worried about both of them because I haven't seen them since the VERY wend of summer when they came to the Potter's house to give me some money for my supplies and a present for making prefect.

I can't really wait until I can show the world my dress and how nice that I can look without James. And with Remus even though I don't like Remus like that. I guess it will be a change I can have a reason to smile and be happy.

Well I better go for now because I need to finish getting everything ready for tomorrow nights dance and well that's going to be fun.

Bye f0r now

Lily

December 25th (Early Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I just woke up and well today is Christmas and I am so happy because I have a whole pile of presents at the foot of my bed waiting for me to open them. I can't wait until I can open them but I have to wait for my friends to wake up because we always open our presents together. Oh there they are now they are awake so I will be back as soon as I finish opening my presents.

Bye for now

Lily

December 25th (Late Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I just finished opening up my presents and well I got a lot of things from my parents and from my friends and well even James's parents sent me something.

From my friends I got a ring that has a cross on it and I also got some hair clips, a whole bunch of make-up, some books, and some nail polish. From my parents I just got some books and some clothes (Muggle clothes mostly because they are muggles.)

From James's parents well it was the most interesting ring and I can't believe that they gave it to me because well James and I are broken up and everything but it really is a beautiful and really nice of them because they didn't have to get me anything.

Well I better go because well I need to relax and start getting ready for the dance.

Bye for now

Lily

December 25th (LATE night)

Dear Diary

Well the dance was so COOL! I had so much fun because well I did see James and well he was looking at me and he was surprised that I looked as good as I did and I have to say that I do miss being with James but well he has changed and now he is using his magic against other people and its not cool at all.

Well I better go and wash this make-up off and go to sleep because I am really tired and I need to get some sleep.

Night

Lily

Sorry for the delay I just haven't had time to write and I had bad writers block

R&R


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own Harry Potter though I wish I did

Lily's Diary

January 1st (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well So far everything has fallen into place I mean right now all the 5th years are starting to study and some of us have been studying since the start of school I just want to get these tests over with and do well on them. These tests will tell everybody what we can be when we graduate from Hogwarts and start our own lives away from our parents. I want to be able to be an Auror and that takes time to do and lots of skill and I really want to do this to prove that I can to the world. I want to prove to James that just because me and I broke up doesn't mean I can't reach my goal and become an Auror and I will show him that I can go that far.

Everything has to go perfect this year though because it's really important that I make it through the OWLs and do really good because those grades will determine if I can go on in the classes needed to become an Auror, and well its going to be a lot of hard work from now until the exams in June and those last for 2 weeks, and well I am going to achieve my goal if I have to spend every waking moment studying and even if I have to quit playing Quidditch I will because these tests mean the world to me.

Well I better go and study so I will write in you later.

Love

Lily

January 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I finished studying for now and I plan on getting some sleep soon but well I saw James while I was studying in the common room and well he didn't even have a book near him to even do his work and well I just find that really lazy and well I wish he would work for once. Even when me and him dated he never really worked and yet he made decent grades not as good as mine but he was one of the top students the only reason Remus is a prefect with me is because he studies like me and makes really good grades and I just hope that Remus makes Head Boy when we are 7th years because he works for everything and gets all his work done.

Well I am really tired from all that work and studying so I am going to get to bed.

Night

Lily

January 10th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well so far classes have been really stressful because we are getting even more homework but I knew that this would happen because well my friends who took the exams last year said that its really stressful and well I told all my younger friends that they are going to be in for a year full of stress and homework and studying and its going to drive them just as crazy as I am now. , but I know that I am going to be somewhat ok next year because well there will not be any OWLs for me to worry about just NEWTs year after next. I am kind of upset because of all the younger years because they wont ever shut up and well I just wish that they would so that I could study and work in peace because well then I wouldn't have to yell at them.

But overall everything is going pretty good because well I don't have the stress of having a boyfriend because then I think I would go totally crazy. I am just really glad that I have you to write in because without this diary I would go crazy and it's like having a friend to talk to because right now. Well Kathleen and Emily are working on their transfiguration homework up here in the girls dorms because it was too loud in the common room thanks to James and his friends. Marah is working on charms homework and well here I am writing in you. I think this is what is keeping me calm because this time I have been trying to write in you more often than I did before.

Well it's late and we are all getting ready to go to bed because Emily and Kathleen just left to go to the 6th year girl's room and well Marah and I are in the 5th year rooms so well going to get some sleep.

Night

Lily

January 11th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well so far everything is going ok I decided to relax and well as a prefect I was up most of the night walking the hallways because well 1 of the other prefects decided to not show up for their duty and I was called to do their job and I was asleep too and it sucks to be woken up and have to put on your school uniform and prefect badge and run for a duty when its not even your night to walk the halls.

Oh well at least I can sit here and write in you for a few more minuets before I have to go to class looking like I haven't gotten a single minuet of sleep I mean who would decide to skip their night I guess they wanted to be able to get a good nights sleep I bet it was Malfoy because he is always skipping his duty and I don't know why he is still a prefect.

Well I better get to class

Lily

R&R

Authors note: Sorry for the delay just been busy and writers block has been killing me.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own Harry Potter though I wish I did

Lilys Diary

January 13th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I was going to have to do prefect duties tonight but well lets just say that I told Professor Dumbledore and he told me that Malfoy is going to do my duties for tonight and tomorrow because I said that because I had to do his it wasn't fair that I would have to do my own because I am really tired and well Dumbledore said that if Malfoy didn't show up for patrol duties that he wouldn't be a prefect much longer or something like that all I know is that I have the night off and well I already finished my homework because I worked on it before Dinner and well since I was already almost done with it before I went to Professor Dumbledore's office I can just relax. This is the night where I wish that me and James were still together because with me done with my work and him trying to finish his own then we could have just laid down together on the couch and talked about being together forever but oh well what is done is done and I can't change it now. I am just glad that I got over him fast because I can't cry over some stupid guy because if I didn't get over him then I would have to be crazy because it's just James Potter and what's so good about him.

I think I am going to head off to bed because well I am tired and I need some sleep for classes tomorrow.

Night

Lily

January 13th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I couldn't sleep so I decided to write some more and well I am down in the common room and well I don't care if anybody finds out that I write in a diary because right now I just don't care because I know I can take whatever James Potter throws at me. I am getting kind of worried about the OWLs because well they are coming up faster than most people think and we are getting more homework than we were before Christmas and well I know I can get it done but I am having some trouble in transfiguration and James use to help me but well now I have Emily helping me because she is really good at transfiguration and I am doing really well in potions and charms so I know that I will be ok in those subjects because they are my best.

There's just so much going on right now with classes and friends and everything but I know that Emily and Kathleen went through this last year and well they had some of the same problems that I am having right now. They went through the boyfriend problem and well Marah is lucky she hasn't had to go through it yet and I just hope she doesn't make the same mistake I did with James. I have a feeling that she wont because well she is smarter than that, she is a lot smarter than I am and is a lot more careful when she chooses a guy to date and well she hasn't ever gone to a dance with a guy she normally goes by herself.

Well I am going to head for bed now because well I am tired.

Night

Lily

January 20th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well sorry for not writing because well I have been really busy trying to write this potions essay and a charms essay and 2 transfiguration essays and a history of Magic essay so yeah its been busy for me and I wish I could go out and walk around but I have to spend this weekend working on my homework and trying to make sure I do really good on these essays so that I can do good on the OWLs, and pass and become 6th year and go on to studying for NEWTs and then there's graduation and then training for my job.

Well I better get to work on my essays

Bye for now

Lily

January 30th (night)

Dear Diary

Well everything has been getting really busy here because of all the homework that I have been getting a lot of because of everything that has been going on but I realized something that I can't hate James because I know that I will always love him I mean I remember last Christmas we went around the castle and would hide from all the prefects and the Head Boy and girl and we would snuggle together and sometimes we would hide together under his invisibility cloak and just lean against the wall because well Hogwarts doesn't really like that much PDA. I miss James and I really wish that we were still together I mean I know I can't change anything since it's in the past. I just wish that I had a chance to kiss him and be in his sweet embrace.

Well they say that everything happens for a reason and well I guess that me thinking about James must mean that I am going to get back together with him because well I mean I feel like James and I were meant to be together forever.

I guess I kind of messed that up.

Well I better go since its getting late.

Lily

Sorry for the delay been really busy I will try to start and finish another chapter this week….


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

February 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I have been really busy with being a prefect but I love it and so far well the homework has been slowing down a little but Professor Slughorn has had some parties and well they have been really fun and a chance to dress up and just hang out with the Slug Club away from the other people who don't think I deserve to be here. James has been at some of the parties but that's because he goes with people who are in the Slug Club when we are allowed to bring people.

I just hope that James still loves me because I still love him I mean I know he didn't mean to do what he did…. I just want to be back in his arms I mean he was the best thing I ever had; I still wear the necklace he got me unless I am playing Quidditch or taking a shower. I just hope he knows that I still care but right now I have to stay focused on getting a good OWL score because I don't wan to mess up my chances of getting the career that I want I mean right now I am choosing between either a healer or and Auror. I kind of want to be a healer because I am good at potions and charms and not really that good at transfiguration; I mean I can do it just not like James or the other Marauders. I just know that he thinks that I hate him but I have to act like I do because well I can't let him know that I still care I mean I told Remus while we were doing rounds because he saw the necklace and asked why I still wore it since James had given it to me last year. I miss being with James but I can't really do anything but get through this year and the next 2.

Well I better go because I am really tired

Night

Lily

February 14th(Late Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well today is the great day of Valentines day and I didn't get anything but that's ok because I talked with Marah and well she didn't get anything either because she broke up with her boyfriend a month ago because she decided that she didn't want to date the guy she was with because he was too boring. I kind of thought he was funny but kind of crazy at the same time. My birthday is coming up soon I know that it wont be as good as last year because well I doubt that I will get anything like I did last year, I mean last year I got the necklace from James and a kiss from him too and I got some make up from my friends. I just hope that I can still have a good birthday.

Well I am going to go, because I am kind of sad and it's the "day of love" and I just don't feel like staying in the common room right now so I am going to walk up to my dorm. I can't take all the couples who are so in love because its killing me on the inside and it hurts me inside.

Write in you later.

Lily

February 14th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I decided to write in you because well I can't sleep because I went and listened at James's dorm door and he said that he still cared even though we broke up and well I just can't see how he still cares about me because there is no way that he could. I mean I was mean to him, I think he only saw me cry once. I still have to see him when we are at Quidditch practice but I am still really good because I still practice really hard because I have to prove myself because I am only the second girl on the team because there is another girl who is really good but she is only a reserve and I think that she shouldn't be one, but that's ok.

I know that I was sad before about this day but its not that much stress when you don't have a boyfriend because you don't have to worry about hurting him if you have to work on homework or study I kind of like being able to do whatever I want to. Marah and I noticed that we get more work done without a guy than we do with one. But don't get me wrong I would LOVE to have a guy who loves me for who I am and not for how good I look or just to have sex with me.

Well I better go because I have Quidditch practice tomorrow morning and so I need to be well rested so that I won't be late.

Night

Lily

February 18th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I heard from Remus last night that James was single again and I wondered why he told me this and well I guess he thought I should know and well I was glad that he had told me. I guess James couldn't take dating a girl who was a total slut. I am so glad that my birthday is coming up and that I have a good guy friend like Remus because he has saved my papers from James countless times.

I am so tired but I should be writing down stuff but I also have a charms paper due and a potions paper to write and also transfiguration homework.

I guess I will go and do that so I will write in you tomorrow if I can

Night

Lily

February 20th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I have been so busy getting ready for OWLs because they started to give us more homework again and well I know that the OWLs were already done because I already have so much pressure with all the homework. I just need a day where I could relax and walk around and not have a care on my mind.

I know that summer will be a lot better except that that's when my OWL results are going to come in. Now you may think that I am a bookworm well I kind of am but not really I mean I love to write too. I am almost always writing in you when I have time.

I finished all my homework and all I have to do is turn it in tomorrow so that's a good thing because well I just hope that Remus can catch up because he misses so much school and that's really bad, I just don't know how he passes because I would fail if I didn't go to class.

Well I better go because I have class tomorrow and I want to be able to hang out with Isabella and Marah, we are going to walk around outside and I need to be ready to walk in the cold so I will write in you tomorrow if I have time.

Bye

Lily

Sorry I haven't written in a long time I have been getting ready for finals and I have school tomorrow...I will try to write another chapter later!


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own Harry Potter

Lilys Diary

March 1st (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I am in a good mood today because I went and got some new ink it's a maroon color because I was getting tired of writing in pink. I also got this really cool quill because well my other one broke because it was so old. I am starting to get excited about my birthday which is on the 5th so it's in a few days and I will be 15! I am just hoping that this year's birthday is as good as last years; I just have to wait and see because I won't know until it happens. All that I know is that I am really excited about turning 15 because well I will be closer to turning 16 next year. It's an exciting time because well I am just hoping that I have a good birthday even though I don't have James this year. I have my friends Marah, Emily, Isabella, Remus, and Kathleen. So I just hope that I have some sort of a party. I guess I will find out on the 5th.

I was invited to a Slug Club thing but I decided I wasn't in the mood so I faked sick and I know that's weird that I didn't want to go because I felt like being alone today its weird I usually like to be around a lot of people but today I kind of felt like just laying around in my bed.

Well I better go because I have to write an essay for Professor Slughorn.

Night

Lily

March 3rd (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well I finished my Charms paper that I got yesterday and I am almost done with my Potions paper and well I got a transfiguration paper that I got today. I have class soon I just thought I would write in you before I had to go to Ancient Runes and be stuck with Malfoy who is a major ass and learn new stuff. I am supposed to be at lunch but I wasn't hungry so I came up to the girls dorms to relax…. Its weird I haven't been that hungry I mean I eat because well Quidditch can take a lot out of you which reminds me I have to go to Quidditch practice tonight for our game this weekend oh joy I just hope that I don't get knocked off my broom and get hurt, because I can't afford to be hurt and stay on top of my work.

Well lunch is almost over so I better go so that I am ready for class.

Bye for now

Lily

March 5th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well today is my birthday and now I am 15 I got some presents but I haven't opened them because my friends told me to wait until later because I wonder if they are going to throw me a party because well why else would I not be able to open my presents. I got a lot from the people on the Quidditch team and from my friends minus James unlike last year when he gave me the necklace that I still wear except for today since I am going to have Quidditch practice and I am going to dress up for my party and I don't want people thinking that I still love him. Only Remus and I know that I still care and I tend to want to keep it that way.

I am glad that today is Saturday because I don't really feel like getting out of my bed yet I mean it is only 10:00 and I just want to lie around until 2 when I have Quidditch practice. I know that I can't do that because of everything I have to get done today even though it's my birthday. I still have to write some papers practice some spells and then celebrate my birthday with my friends, and well I guess it's not good for me to just lie around and let my work pile up. Maybe I should write to my mom and see how she is doing.

Well I will write in you later.

Lily

March 5th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well I had the best birthday! I got the best presents ever, maybe not as good as last year but these were good. From Emily I got some new muggle clothes, from Isabella I got some new quills and ink pots, from Remus I got a new cloak that's really pretty and fancy. From Kathleen I got some makeup and some hair products. Oh James kept looking at me this evening while my friends were having a party for me. He couldn't stop looking at me every time I would laugh or smile. It made me think back to last year when we were together and he always loved to hear me laugh and see me smile, now I guess he still loves seeing my smile and well its not like he couldn't come over its just that he knows that I hate him, he loves to show off because he has a big head and thinks that he's all cool and everything. He's not that cool because well if he was he wouldn't have broken up with me I hate him for what he caused, he caused me to lose my mind and cry and I don't like to cry because it makes me look weak and I HAVE to be strong not just because I am on the Quidditch Team but because well I don't want people to think that they can walk all over me and well I wont let anyone do that.

I have Quidditch practice tomorrow night I am so happy another time where I have to work with James bloody Potter that's just great. I don't want to work with him because he gets me so angry with him, like last practice he said I wasn't paying attention to the other chasers and that's wrong I was passing to them and I so wanted to hex him.

Well I better go because it's late and I am tired

Night

Lily

R&R

Sorry been busy with school….


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own Harry Potter

Lily's Diary

March 15th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today I told all my friends what I would be doing after Hogwarts and well they were shocked because they thought that I would want to fight the Death Eaters with my other friends that I have made. But I told them that I found being a Healer more interesting and more for me. I know that I can do this because I am smart and it's a good goal to hold. I don't need James to keep me happy I have myself and my friends Marah and Isabella. Why would I need James when I have them because they are the best friends that I could ever ask for and well I know that I can make it without James, that's because I don't think I really need him anymore. I am glad that he broke up with me; I mean I still love him with everything I could ever love with because I know that James and I will get back together somehow, if not now then later when I know we can handle being together. I know also I guess James had to break up with me because that way it would make me stronger because he knew I was weak with him, always depending on him to be there and to answer my calls for help, but now that I don't have him I know that I don't need him or anyone right now because of all the work that we have to do to get ready for the OWL tests that are coming up in another 2 months. I just know that I am not stressed out because well I know that I will do as well as I want to on them, and for me that's really good because I want to do really well on these exams.

I don't pay attention to anything else but these exams and studying for my tests that are in my classes. My Transfiguration has really come a long ways from the start of the year, I guess going in for help really worked out for me.

Well I am going to go because it's late and I have to get up early to study.

Night

Lily

May 16th (Late afternoon)

Dear Diary

I am really sorry that I haven't written in you for awhile but I have had a lot of work to do and it's taken up almost all my time I mean I haven't really had time to even hang out with my friends with Quidditch practice and homework and studying I haven't had time to really relax and just hang out with friends. I just wish that it was summer already because then I would be home with my family just relaxing and laughing again with them and since I haven't really had time to owl them about my year I guess I should sometime tomorrow or the next day owl them to let them know that I am coming home for the summer and that they should be ready for me to be there. I know that I am ready to go home and see my parents and sleep in my own bed.

I know I should be studying but I don't feel like it, I feel like kicking it back and writing in you or reading a book, my friends are studying in the library since they haven't been studying all year like me and they aren't as worried as I am. They told me to relax today or they would force me, I think tonight they want to have a girl's night because they think that I need a makeover or something I mean what's wrong with the way I dress and not put on makeup. I mean I don't have anyone to impress anymore because I don't have James or any guy for that matter. To me if a guy doesn't like the way you dress or put makeup on or not then they are not worth your time, I guess I should learn how to dress like a girl on the weekend and not wear pants and a shirt and learn to wear a skirt or a dress (not a fancy 1 like a casual dress). I know I wont fight getting made over because they wouldn't do this if they didn't want to, I just hope that they don't change me too much because I want to still keep a part of the old Lily and not have to totally change me look and the way I act because then I wouldn't know who I was when I look in the mirror.

Well I think I will go and read a book and relax.

Bye for now

Lily

May 25th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well today was such a busy day because well I had Transfiguration homework, Potions homework, Charms to work on, and DADA to do tonight that's going to be due next week. I know that I shouldn't be worried about this but I really want to get it done today so that I can be ready for OWLs that are later next week and week after and some of the week after that. I am just ready to get these tests over because I feel totally ready for them and well I know that I will pass them. I haven't really been studying for my charms one because that's the one I don't have to worry about.

Well I better go because I am tired and I want to take a nap

Will write in you when I can

Lily

May 25th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today the girls gave me a makeover and well I am not sure if I really like it yet because they cut my hair a little shorter than it was and they put more makeup on me then I knew was around, but I guess that its something that you have to get use to or its just not meant to be because I don't normally wear more than just lip gloss and MAYBE some eye shadow if it's a good day. I will just have to give it a chance because you can't judge something without giving it time to grow on you.

I was glad when Marah and Isabella told me that they would help me pick out clothes to go with this look because I have no idea on how to dress to look like something really good so I guess I am glad that I have friends like them around here and not like the ones that I had before I found out I was a witch.

Well I got to go and do some studying for OWLs…how fun but it has to be done.

Night

Lily

June 3rd (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was the first day of OWLs and I had my charms and I think I got an O because the person who was observing my test was very shocked by what I could do and the written part was really easy I finished WAY before time ran out and well all I can say is that Potter wasn't as lucky as I was to finish with that much time left, tomorrow is Transfiguration and I am kind of scared of that exam but I think that I will do ok because I have taken my notes really carefully since James and I broke up and I have asked Remus to go over my notes for anything I may have forgotten, and sometimes he helps me go over what we learned in class. So I am just going to pray that everything goes great because I would be crushed if I didn't do really well on this. I feel prepared for this because I have studied really hard and well I am just looking forward to getting this out of the way and study for my History of Magic OWL and I know that will be easy because I just have to go over all my notes but I have time because I have been doing that all term so I feel totally ready for that one. After that I forget what I have after this because I would have to look at my exam schedule and well to do that I would have to dig through my bag and well right now I don't feel like doing that.

I know I should be studying for that stupid Transfiguration OWL but right now I don't feel like it because I would rather write in you or lay down and sleep.

I think I am going to go to sleep.

Night

Lily

Authors Note: Well sorry for the delay but I was in NYC for my graduation present.

The next chapter should be out as soon as I can get it out.


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own Harry Potter

June 5th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was the DADA OWL and I think that I did really good because I knew all the answers. Tomorrow is our last OWL then there's the leaving feast and that night spent packing for us to leave and go home for the summer until next September. I am going to be really sad to leave for the summer because this summer I will have to go home and not to James's house, I wish I still had him because its so weird I mean this time last summer I had plans to stay at his house and I was all excited for it. But I know that I will find someone soon.

Well I am going to go

Night

Lily

June 7th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I finished my owls and I think I did ok on them because I studied really hard for them and I can't wait until I get my scores next month it's going to be a long summer because I am going to be stuck at home this summer with my sister. It's just what I want to do this summer. But I hope that Severus will talk with me and not be rude….I wonder what happened to the sweet little boy who I use to talk to…. I doubt I will ever find out. I guess he is like me…doesn't like James. Remus has been completely nice to me and doesn't hate me and he's always getting on James about homework and stuff like that.

Well I am tired and need to pack because we leave in 2 days tomorrow is the leaving feast and we leave the day after that.

Night

Lily

July 4th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

I am sorry that I haven't written in you since I left Hogwarts. Well I think my OWL results are going to come in soon because they said sometime in July and well its July 4th, I am kind of scared to see my results but oh well its done and over with. Got an owl from Remus and he said he is doing fine and is with James and Sirius so he is having as much fun as they are. He said he wished that I would talk with James again and I don't know what to think about that because its been awhile since I talked with James nicely. He said something weird in his letter that made me think he wasn't very sure if he was going to be a prefect this year. I know I will be or hope I will I mean I busted my butt to get my grades. I am not going to do Quidditch anymore it reminds me of James and how we spent so long playing the game. Now I am not going to give up flying because that helps me clear my head. I guess I will find out if I am a prefect when I get my letter this year. And then on September 1st I will see who my partner is. I don't really know I just hope that it's Remus and not James. I don't think he has high enough grades and has gotten in trouble too many times I mean come on who in their right mind would make him a prefect.

Well I am going to go and spend some time with my mom.

Bye

Lily

July 15th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well Today ended well, today was an ok day I got an owl again from Remus saying that his summer was still going great and asking me how mine was and I responded saying that it was going kind of slow and that I missed seeing all my friends and that I missed Hogwarts. Also I said I couldn't wait until September 1st because that was going o get me away from my sister and her stupid boyfriend, oh gods they are so gross…..he's like super creepy but I have seen some of Severus and that has helped a lot to get my summer going but he's acting really weird and will hardly talk with me and I miss hanging out with him like we use to before he became this odd.

I know I haven't talked a lot about Severus but there wasn't that much to say because well he started getting weird 4th year and him and I were really close. I wish I could still get advice but its all going to be ok in the end because I have a feeling that he will always be there somehow no matter who I end up getting married to because I know that he cares and would try to help me even though he was in a different house.

Well I am tired so I think that I am going to get some sleep because I am going to do some homework tomorrow afternoon.

Night

Lily

July 30th (night)

Dear Diary

Today I saw Severus and it made me think about how he has changed all these years and made me miss the old Severus. Also I got my OWLs and I got top marks and I was really happy about that and so were my parents even though they didn't understand a lot about magic but I am really happy. I wrote and asked Remus how he did on his OWLs and I am just waiting to get a reply I am sure he is really busy because he is spending his time with James and everyone else unlike last summer when I spent it at James's house. Gods I miss that summer, it was one of the best summers I have ever had and I wish that I still had that. But I don't and I have to get over that because well I have a feeling that I wont get to have James back but you never know because life can shock you.

I wonder what James is thinking about, and I also wonder how he did on his OWLs but this is ok I am just proud of myself that I got this many. I hung out with my mom today and well she said that my sister changed a lot after I left for Hogwarts and I told her yeah I knew because before I left my sister and I were very close and now we can't hardly stand each other and I wish we were still close but well she thinks that I am a freak and I think that she's over reacting but oh well its all in the past and not for me to worry about. I love my mom but I love being away from home and nothing is going to change that, when I am at Hogwarts I feel like I am free from my stress that I have here at home. I feel like I am welcome at Hogwarts more so than I am here.

Well I am tired and need to get some sleep.

Night

Lily

August 1st (Early morning)

Dear Diary

Today has only just started but I couldn't sleep last night so I took out the box that I keep all the things that James got me through the time we were dating and well I found the necklace that he got me and I wanted to cry because I remember not taking it off unless I had Quidditch Practice or when I was taking a shower. I also saw the notes that we wrote and well I kept and James use to make fun of me for wanting to keep something like these notes I mean here we were saying I love you and that we weren't going to break up and now look at us, we are broken up that just shows that well things happen and people need space and they dump their girlfriends. I am ready for this next year. I want to prove to everyone that I can make it like I did this year.

After I finished going through that I remembered a lot and why we were such a good couple. I just kind of wish we were still together but I know that its not possible, even though he has been asking me out again I still need to show him that I am not going to take him back all of a sudden because then that would show people that I was desperate and I am not going to do that. Now give us another year or year and a half maybe less I don't know its going to depend on if I feel ready to go back out with him again. I am still in the stage where I want to be single and have time to play and have a lot of free time to read and study because just because OWLs are done doesn't mean that this coming year is going to be easy I know that its going to be a lot more work and loads of double periods and I hear we get breaks that we are going to need later on for extra studying and I know that NEWTs are going to be killer because they take 7 years of study and cram it into tests kind of like OWLs but if I can make it through OWLs then I can make it through the NEWTs without a trouble, now I might get stressed out but who doesn't.

Well I am going to go and get some more sleep because I am feeling really tired.

Bye

Lily

August 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today I went swimming by myself and I wished that I had someone to enjoy it with because it was really kind of lonely and made me feel like nobody cared for me in this world when I know that I am very loved by my parents. I almost think that they haven't paid attention to my sister since I started school….not like I asked for this because I wanted my whole family to be close to each other and to always love each other the same and not love me more than my sister. I use to be close to her and my parents use to love us each the same no matter what we did.

Well I am really tired.

Night

Lily

Authors note: I am REALLY sorry for the delay but I have been busy with college and keeping in touch with my boyfriend in Iraq…. I should have the next chapter up ASAP

Thanks.

R&R


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own Harry Potter

June 5th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was the DADA OWL and I think that I did really good because I knew all the answers. Tomorrow is our last OWL then there's the leaving feast and that night spent packing for us to leave and go home for the summer until next September. I am going to be really sad to leave for the summer because this summer I will have to go home and not to James's house, I wish I still had him because its so weird I mean this time last summer I had plans to stay at his house and I was all excited for it. But I know that I will find someone soon.

Well I am going to go

Night

Lily

June 7th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well I finished my owls and I think I did ok on them because I studied really hard for them and I can't wait until I get my scores next month it's going to be a long summer because I am going to be stuck at home this summer with my sister. It's just what I want to do this summer. But I hope that Severus will talk with me and not be rude….I wonder what happened to the sweet little boy who I use to talk to…. I doubt I will ever find out. I guess he is like me…doesn't like James. Remus has been completely nice to me and doesn't hate me and he's always getting on James about homework and stuff like that.

Well I am tired and need to pack because we leave in 2 days tomorrow is the leaving feast and we leave the day after that.

Night

Lily

July 4th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

I am sorry that I haven't written in you since I left Hogwarts. Well I think my OWL results are going to come in soon because they said sometime in July and well its July 4th, I am kind of scared to see my results but oh well its done and over with. Got an owl from Remus and he said he is doing fine and is with James and Sirius so he is having as much fun as they are. He said he wished that I would talk with James again and I don't know what to think about that because its been awhile since I talked with James nicely. He said something weird in his letter that made me think he wasn't very sure if he was going to be a prefect this year. I know I will be or hope I will I mean I busted my butt to get my grades. I am not going to do Quidditch anymore it reminds me of James and how we spent so long playing the game. Now I am not going to give up flying because that helps me clear my head. I guess I will find out if I am a prefect when I get my letter this year. And then on September 1st I will see who my partner is. I don't really know I just hope that it's Remus and not James. I don't think he has high enough grades and has gotten in trouble too many times I mean come on who in their right mind would make him a prefect.

Well I am going to go and spend some time with my mom.

Bye

Lily

July 15th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well Today ended well, today was an ok day I got an owl again from Remus saying that his summer was still going great and asking me how mine was and I responded saying that it was going kind of slow and that I missed seeing all my friends and that I missed Hogwarts. Also I said I couldn't wait until September 1st because that was going o get me away from my sister and her stupid boyfriend, oh gods they are so gross…..he's like super creepy but I have seen some of Severus and that has helped a lot to get my summer going but he's acting really weird and will hardly talk with me and I miss hanging out with him like we use to before he became this odd.

I know I haven't talked a lot about Severus but there wasn't that much to say because well he started getting weird 4th year and him and I were really close. I wish I could still get advice but its all going to be ok in the end because I have a feeling that he will always be there somehow no matter who I end up getting married to because I know that he cares and would try to help me even though he was in a different house.

Well I am tired so I think that I am going to get some sleep because I am going to do some homework tomorrow afternoon.

Night

Lily

July 30th (night)

Dear Diary

Today I saw Severus and it made me think about how he has changed all these years and made me miss the old Severus. Also I got my OWLs and I got top marks and I was really happy about that and so were my parents even though they didn't understand a lot about magic but I am really happy. I wrote and asked Remus how he did on his OWLs and I am just waiting to get a reply I am sure he is really busy because he is spending his time with James and everyone else unlike last summer when I spent it at James's house. Gods I miss that summer, it was one of the best summers I have ever had and I wish that I still had that. But I don't and I have to get over that because well I have a feeling that I wont get to have James back but you never know because life can shock you.

I wonder what James is thinking about, and I also wonder how he did on his OWLs but this is ok I am just proud of myself that I got this many. I hung out with my mom today and well she said that my sister changed a lot after I left for Hogwarts and I told her yeah I knew because before I left my sister and I were very close and now we can't hardly stand each other and I wish we were still close but well she thinks that I am a freak and I think that she's over reacting but oh well its all in the past and not for me to worry about. I love my mom but I love being away from home and nothing is going to change that, when I am at Hogwarts I feel like I am free from my stress that I have here at home. I feel like I am welcome at Hogwarts more so than I am here.

Well I am tired and need to get some sleep.

Night

Lily

August 1st (Early morning)

Dear Diary

Today has only just started but I couldn't sleep last night so I took out the box that I keep all the things that James got me through the time we were dating and well I found the necklace that he got me and I wanted to cry because I remember not taking it off unless I had Quidditch Practice or when I was taking a shower. I also saw the notes that we wrote and well I kept and James use to make fun of me for wanting to keep something like these notes I mean here we were saying I love you and that we weren't going to break up and now look at us, we are broken up that just shows that well things happen and people need space and they dump their girlfriends. I am ready for this next year. I want to prove to everyone that I can make it like I did this year.

After I finished going through that I remembered a lot and why we were such a good couple. I just kind of wish we were still together but I know that its not possible, even though he has been asking me out again I still need to show him that I am not going to take him back all of a sudden because then that would show people that I was desperate and I am not going to do that. Now give us another year or year and a half maybe less I don't know its going to depend on if I feel ready to go back out with him again. I am still in the stage where I want to be single and have time to play and have a lot of free time to read and study because just because OWLs are done doesn't mean that this coming year is going to be easy I know that its going to be a lot more work and loads of double periods and I hear we get breaks that we are going to need later on for extra studying and I know that NEWTs are going to be killer because they take 7 years of study and cram it into tests kind of like OWLs but if I can make it through OWLs then I can make it through the NEWTs without a trouble, now I might get stressed out but who doesn't.

Well I am going to go and get some more sleep because I am feeling really tired.

Bye

Lily

August 1st (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today I went swimming by myself and I wished that I had someone to enjoy it with because it was really kind of lonely and made me feel like nobody cared for me in this world when I know that I am very loved by my parents. I almost think that they haven't paid attention to my sister since I started school….not like I asked for this because I wanted my whole family to be close to each other and to always love each other the same and not love me more than my sister. I use to be close to her and my parents use to love us each the same no matter what we did.

Well I am really tired.

Night

Lily

Authors note: I am REALLY sorry for the delay but I have been busy with college and keeping in touch with my boyfriend in Iraq…. I should have the next chapter up ASAP

Thanks.

R&R


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own Harry Potter

August 12th (Night)

Dear Diary

Well today was quite a day, I went and laid in the park under a tree and ran into Severus and well that was good because I missed talking to him and we kind of just laid there and laughed about our year, like he told me about how it was being in his house and I told him about mine. He was glad that I made it through this year with the whole breakup and everything and told me that I was stronger than he thought because well he said any other girl would have given in to the pain and begged for another chance to be with the guy again and I said not me because who needs a guy who is going to act like that. I said that I missed hanging out with him during the term and he said he missed it too but he wasn't sure if we would ever be able to because of his friends not liking me. I then said I had to go because I was going to do the rest of my summer homework and left him laying in the grass and I never realized how alone he looked. At school he always looks so strong and happy but I guess that's just a front because what I saw before I kept walking away was sadness and alone……I almost wanted to invite him to come with me but I didn't.

I don't know I keep wondering why he looks so sad I mean he has his parents and friends and he is pretty good in school I mean I would say he is either 3rd or 4th in the class out of the guys and I am number 1 out of the girls because I stay focused and everything and don't let people get in the way of my studying. I am really excited for the school year and can't wait until I get back into my classes and everything. Its going to be a good year I mean I am going to be a 6th year and I am really excited because now I am going to get to start to focus on my healer career and not have to take classes that I don't need and have free periods to study or talk with my friends. I am really excited about that. And also I wont have as many classes with James because I think he is going into a different career than I am. Well him and his other friends so I am pretty happy about that.

Well I am going to head off to bed.

Night

Lily

August 25th (Afternoon)

Dear Diary

Well today I got my Hogwarts letter and I am still a prefect so I am pretty happy about that, I mean I earned this position by working really hard, and I can't wait until they start to choose who is going to be the new head girl because I hope that I get that, I mean I am going to hope that I get that because I have worked really hard these past 5 years and I don't know who else has worked this hard besides me. I know that Severus may get the head boy position because he has worked very hard to get his grades and the only person who has worked a little harder than him would be Remus but he is always sick so that may play against him when they choose because the week he is out Severus rises to the top and then after that he becomes lower on the grade chain and I seem to stay at the top of the girls list. Maybe its because I don't do much besides study and read now that I don't have James but that's ok because I would rather have a better education than anything because my education is more important that any guy and that's how its always going to be. Everything this summer has been so crazy I mean I am home and not at James's house or anyone else's house but that not too weird because before last summer I always came home and then I would either have Emily or Kathleen over and then we would go and spend the summer at their houses and party like there was no tomorrow after we finished our summer homework.

I am pretty tired so I think I am going to go to bed.

Night

Lily

August 26th (Night)

Dear Diary

Today I went and got my books and stuff for the coming term and I am very happy I got myself a new robe to go with my uniform so that makes me very happy because I was needing a new one for awhile because mine was from 4th year and getting a little tight and short because I guess I have grown but I guess I will see when I go change on the train and if I need to fix anything I can while I am on the train gods I love magic.

I almost ran into James and his gang but I managed to avoid them by going and getting my new robe and other things that I needed and I am very happy because it was like a miniature gift for keeping prefect another year.

Well I am tired so I am going to head off to bed.

Night

Lily

August 27th (Night)

Well the new term is coming up really fast and I am really excited because its going to be a great term. I mean 6th year is suppose to be hard yet amazing and I am ready for it because its going to be a new challenge for me to rise up to. I am going to make 6th year one of my best and prove to those stupid guys that I don't need them because I don't I mean all they do is just walk all over you and end up thinking that we are always going to need them when girls are just as able to take care of ourselves like the men. I am going to get more girls out there protecting themselves and getting smarter because I think that a guy should love someone for who they are and not be mad if a girl is smarter than they are because well we are allowed to make whatever grades that we want. Like me I wont EVER dumb myself down for ANY guy and I think other girls should do the same.

Anyways about my day ha-ha I had a pretty good one, I spent time again with Severus in the park and it was pretty fun because this time we went and sat and talked about trying to be friends again at school but I doubt that its going to happen because our houses hate each other…… why were we put in the houses that have a problem with each other I mean why couldn't he be in Ravenclaw or me in there……

Oh well no use looking back now because I can't change anything about that and I wouldn't even if I could because I love my house and all my friends. Without them I wouldn't be who I am today and I love my dorm mates because they are really nice and are kind to me and give me space when I need it.

Well I am going to go to bed because I have a long day tomorrow because I am meeting up with Severus and we are going to hang out because its almost time for school to start up again and we know that its going to be hard to see each other once that happens.

Night

Lily

August 28th (Morning)

Dear Diary

Well I just woke up hearing an owl tapping on my window and its from Remus and it said that he missed talking to me and how he noticed that something was wrong with James but he wouldn't go into detail about that so it makes me wonder if James misses me but oh well I am going to try to focus on my friends and school because well I love hanging out with my friends and talking about stuff. I am kind of scared of seeing Severus later today because its been awhile since him and I hung out somewhere besides the park and I don't know where he is going to take me I mean I have never really been to his house and he has never been to mine. So it makes me wonder what we are going to do today. All I know is that I am suppose to meet him outside the park at 11 and right now its 9:00 and here I am sitting at my desk while I hear some birds chirping outside my window which I left open in case another owl comes because I don't want to wake up anyone so I just left it open. I was lucky that the first owl didn't wake up my sister in the next room but oh well its all ok as long as she is asleep because ever since I went to Hogwarts she hasn't talked to me the same and I kind of miss that, having girl talk with my sister. I mean she would talk with me until it was my second year then she just ignored me all the way and started talking more with her other friends besides me so when I came home for the holidays I was on my own because mom and dad would go out and so would she….I kind of miss the old days but I love being a witch.

Well I am going to go and get ready for the day and I will try to remember to write in you once I get back and do whatever I have to do.

Bye

Lily

August 28th (Late night)

Dear Diary

Well today was a really good day and everything because I got to hang out with Severus and we ended up going to his house and hanging out there and it was kind of nice in its own way but it wasn't my house but that's ok because well Severus is my friend and I would never judge him by how much money his parents make but I could hear his parents fighting in their room so when that got really loud we ended up coming over to my house and he seemed to be amazed by my house and I guess that's normal….. but we hung out in our living room and then we went out back and laid in the grass and laughed about random stuff that we felt like laughing about and both agreed that our houses should unite because it was stupid for us to fight but then he started talking about these spells he was working on and I was kind of weirded out about that but that's ok because as long as he doesn't want to kill anyone then that's ok because I would love to make up my own spells because I would have done something with my life.

Severus could tell that I was a little freaked when he said all that stuff about wanting to make his own spells so he didn't talk about that again but said something like how he was prefect and asked if I was still a prefect and was proud when I said yes and he said that he bet that I made Head Girl and I was like I don't know the other girls in the running may beat me out in grades and stuff like that. But Severus was saying how he couldn't see anyone but me with the badge so I guess I will have to wait and see because this year is important enough but I am pretty sure that if I do my best then I will go very far in this life. Well that's weird an owl just tapped on my window let me go and get that.

Ok I am back its James's owl….I wonder what he is doing writing to me….. let me copy the note here

Dear Lily

Congrats on everything that you have ever done, I heard that your not playing Quidditch this year and I wish you would because I loved seeing your smile on the field every we won or lost, and I am sorry for everything I ever did. I know that you most likely hate me but I am going to get you back.

Well I am going to go for now

James

What the hell is he talking about? I think that someone else wrote this because how would he know that I am not going to play Quidditch this term or next…… that's just odd I had only told Severus and that's it and Severus doesn't talk with James.

I am not going to write him back because it may be some kind of prank to mess with me and I am not going to let him get away with that. If he tries to pull any pranks on me this year I am going to put him in detention because that's where he belongs if he is going to act like that.

Well I am going to close my window and get some sleep

Night

Lily

Authors Note: Sorry for the delay yet again but I have been so busy because my boyfriend was here from NC.

I will get the next part of this up ASAP I just need some ideas…..

R&R!!


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